The lunatics are running the asylum

The morning started off with a new appointee by the administration arriving at his desk on horseback; the USofP Interior Secretary decided to carry out his daily commute on the hoof. As a former Navy SEAL he felt that it was incumbent on him to flaunt his cathood, especially as the closest the president had been to any form of military action was fighting his way out of the sheets in the morning after Pickle had tucked him in the night before.

And in Mew York, as today is World Book Day, First Cat Kitty was visiting a hospital to get sick kittens to read to her. Taking along her favourite book Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr Seuss she also took a box of extra books for the kittens. The box, of course, sporting a big ribbon in the Bigly trademark colour—gold.

Not bothering to take her coat off, because it's a short book and the kittens could read quite well so she wouldn't need to stay long, she posed for photographs—making sure no kittens got in on the photo shoot as they were, after all, sick and therefore not very photogenic.

As soon as the final word was read Kitty was whisked off by her minders back to Bigly Tower without giving the press time to get an interview. But as the purpose of the event was to provide a staged feel good photo opportunity the press quickly realised they'd been had once again.

Meanwhile, a Kibetan female cats soccer team were being denied visas to take part in a soccer tournament in Purrica. The players, mostly Kibetan refugees living in Curria, had applied at the USofP embassy in Curria. The executive director of Kibetan Female Cat's Soccer, who is also a citizen of Purrica, told reporters that she didn't believe President Bigly's administration was to blame—she did, however, want to get back into Purrica herself so was taking the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" approach to retaining her own freedom to travel.

Political commentator Salem Colpurr:

"As I understand it the team were told they had 'no good reason' to visit the USofP. The crazy thing is that they're not likely to try to claim refugee status in Purrica because cats can't get out of the country quick enough at the moment—they're even walking across frozen wastes to get into Beaverland despite its lack of cell phone coverage, high banking fees, and reluctance to embrace e-commerce.

"Word on the grapevine is that as they weren't dressing like female cats on the soccer pitch they didn't meet Bigly's expectations, even though they were young enough to be his grandkittens... so an ideal age to date."

Back in the Squircle Office President Bigly was briefed by The Android on the shadow cabinet that had been set up to hold the Bigly administration to account—in the same way that in the United Catdom the ruling party has a shadow cabinet. Set up by a Democatic politician from Mew York its aim will be to unspin the lies and alternative facts spewing forth from the Power House.

Beaverland also announced that they would help fill the financial gap created by the withdrawal of funding by the Bigly administration for organizations that provided international abortion services.

"Start providing buses to the Beaverland border loophole where Purrican immigrants are crossing into Beaverland illegally to claim asylum," said Bigly, "We'll flood Beaverland with so many of Purrica's unwanted cats they'll have to withdraw that funding to pay for all the cats claiming refugee status as soon as they step paw north of the border."

But the biggest issue of the day was without doubt the Attorney General being unfrocked as having been in contact with the Borisians before the November election. With the National Security Advisor having been fired last month for the same infraction the president was beside himself with fury. He accused the video of the Attorney General vehemently denying at his confirmation hearing any meetings with the Borisian Ambassador to the USofP as fake news.

"Fake," he spluttered, even more orange in the face than normal, "Screetch, get some alternative facts out about the Democats to take the heat off."

Political commentator Salem Colpurr:

"Any cat who can lie at a confirmation hearing so convincingly should be a serious worry to all Purrican cats—Bigly supporters and sane citizens alike.

"Are we likely to see another top level firing so soon into the new administration? We can only hope. Watch this space for more Purrican madness at the hands of the lunatics running the asylum."