The United States of Purrica inhabitants
Bigly
45th President of the United States of Purrica
Purrica had always had the outspoken Bigly on the fringes of celebrity, but he had never quite been able to make it to real celebrity status; the closest was by creating his own TV show where he could be mean with impunity to other shallow power-hungry cats—because being mean gets good ratings.
A particularly unattractive ginger tom with small paws, bulbous body, and heavily lacquered fur combover and whiskers, Bigly had not enjoyed the benefits of a good education and was, therefore, saddled with a limited vocabulary. While he pretended to appeal to the working class cats of Purrica his tailormade Italian collars belied his real character.
Obsessed with himself and only prepared to be seen with young female cats, he openly bragged about how he could have any cat he wanted, and he used his inherited wealth to ensure he maintained the illusion. Father to several grown up kittens who were as ruthlessly ambitious as himself, his youngest kitten—with Kitty—is hopefully yet to be contaminated by the greed is good mentality.
On November 9, 2016 the world was in shock when they awoke to find Bigly had won the election and would be the next President of the United States of Purrica. Despite overwhelming evidence that Boris, President of Borisland, had ordered the election to be tampered with, sanity did not prevail and the civilised world began to fear for its safety. On the plus side it also guaranteed four years of endless material for the press, satirists, bloggers, and those who can't believe the surreal world Purricans are now living in.
Kitty
First Cat of the United States of Purrica
Despite her mate's hatred of immigrants to Purrica, Kitty was herself an immigrant who landed on all four paws when she hooked herself a billionaire—Bigly. Not being blessed with a notable IQ, taking on the role of eye-candy was her best career option, even if it meant being touched by an unattractive cat almost twice her age who makes her fur crawl.
Kitty has refused to join President Bigly in the Power House as Princess, the over-ambitious daughter of Bigly and not much younger than Kitty, has made it clear she is top female cat in the Power House and that her father's third mate isn't required.
Now only put on show when she is required to pose and pout, Kitty has so far been thwarted in her desire to maximise the monetary gain she was expecting to make from product endorsements while being the most photographed cat in the world for the next four years.
With clothing designers not queuing up to dress her in their latest collar and bow designs, Kitty is realising the ugly truth that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Princess
First Kitteness of the United States of Purrica/Advisor to the President
Eagerly grasping the opportunity that being top female cat in the Power House would provide to further her own desires, the First Kitteness uses every opportunity to flash items from her Princess bling line of prissy cheap looking collars and bows. While hating her stepmom, who is not much older than she is, she is a spoilt daddy's cat who is highly ambitious but lacking the natural talent to get fame without hanging onto Daddy's tail, money, and power.
Obsessed with his kitten's beauty President Bigly indulges her every desire and ensures that she is at every high-level meeting with world dignitaries—despite her lack of political experience, intelligence, or ability to do anything other than model items from her bling line.
The February 2017 visit of the Prime Minister of Canada also frustrated her in that he was immune to her flirting, instead preferring to talk to the classy cats of substance in the room. While not relinquishing her role in her own business she remains committed to outsourcing as much manufacturing outside of Purrica to maximise profits.
The Weasel Brothers
First Kittens of the United States of Purrica
Bio coming soon
Sly
Senior Advisor to the President of the United States of Purrica
Sly's rise to fame was as a result of the inheritance of his father's multi-million empire after Sly senior was jailed for a long list of illegal activities
Pious
Vice President of the United States of Purrica
Bio coming soon
Pickle
Power House Chief Strategist (Jan. 20-Aug. 18, 2017) - FIRED!
Bio coming soon
Screetch
Counselor to the President of the United States of Purrica
With Princess and Screetch both in the Power House there is never a dull moment, and Power House staff have taken to hiding buckets of cold water around the rooms for when they get into a full-on scrap and need separating.
The president's counselor believes in the saying "You can't be too rich or too thin," attributed to the Purrican who was responsible for the abdication of the King of the United Kingdom in 1936. Screetch is indeed thin—subsisting on a ¼ cup of low calorie kibble a day. Unfortunately for her, she is not rich.
Being ultra-ambitious she is totally ruthless with the truth, and will hitch her wagon to anything or anycat that will provide power and advancement. Bitchy, whiney, and with a hideous collar sense she is unaware that President Bigly rates her a "5" at best.
Doogie
Power House Press Secretary (Jan. 20, 2017-Jul. 21, 2017) - FIRED!
A Power House press secretary has several traits that he must master; 1) the ability to remain calm under pressure; 2) give the impression that he knows what he is talking about; 3) be trusted to impart important Power House news.
Unfortunately for Doogie he has yet to master any of those vitally important assets, and instead comes over as a sulky incompetent attack cat. He also tends to sweat copiously when lying, reporters can read him like a gambler with a 'tell' in a casino, and when caught out he will either shout or become tearful or both. With a weight problem, and a propensity to chew gum all the time, his press anti-briefings are becoming the stuff of legend—fairy tales that is.
Buckabee
Power House Press Secretary (Jul. 21, 2017-?)
Was Doogie's deputy but harboured greater ambitions.
Boris
President of Russia
The President of Russia, despite his tiny stature, is famous for his macho exploits carefully choreographed to make himself look impressive. Whether it is leading migrating white cranes, or posing with tigers and polar bears, the president makes sure that photo shoots show him in the most positive light possible, so that female cats all over Russia swoon in his mighty presence.
Hendrix
Previous President of the United States of Purrica (Jan. 20, 2009-Jan. 20, 2017) - 2 TERMS!
Bio coming soon
Pepper
Previous First Cat of the United States of Purrica (Jan. 20, 2009-Jan. 20, 2017)
Bio coming soon
The Android
Senior Advisor to the President of the United States of Purrica
Bio coming soon
Driller
United States of Purrica Secretary of State
Bio coming soon
Bunion
Speaker of the House
Bio coming soon
Salem Colpurr
Political commentator and comedian
Known for getting down and pithy with guests on his TV show, Salem Colpurr is recognised by many as a well-polished cat with a sleek delivery, deadpan humour, and ruthless ability to make even the most serious politicians look like asses when they're behaving like one.
With well-manicured claws he presents a nightly TV show, but in the months leading up to the election ratings had been dropping due to the endless parade of actors and actresses, rather than cats of substance. It's hoped that with the next four years of a Bigly administration ratings will turn around due to the endless material being generated by the Power House.
Jon Stewfur
Political commentator stand-in and comedian
Bio coming soon
Swiper
Secretary of Commerce
Bio coming soon
The Shiv
Power House Communications Director (Jul. 21, 2017-Jul. 31, 2017) - FIRED!
Bio coming soon
Hopeful
Power House Communications Director - Interim (Aug. 17, 2017-?)
Bio coming soon
Crudze
Repurrican Senator (Texas)
Bio coming soon
Stilts
ex-FBI Director (Sept. 4, 2013–May 9, 2017) - FIRED!
Gnomely
Attorney General
Buckabee
Deputy Press Secretary
Bio coming soon
Brayer
Senate Majority Leader
Bio coming soon
Madcatis
USofP Defence Secretary
Bio coming soon
Billary
Defeated Democat opponent in 2016 presidential election, and former First Cat (Jan. 20, 1993-Jan. 20, 2001)
Bio coming soon