Striking down the First Amendment

It was an unremarkable start to the day for an unremarkable cat. After blasting out a few grudge-holding flutters the first order of the day was a breakfast meeting with leaders of the automobile industry. After giving them a spanking President Bigly dangled two carrots, one was the removal of many industry guidelines to make their jobs easier, and the other—more an anti-carrot—was that a big border tax would be applied to their products if they weren't made in the USP again.

Satisfied with his bullying session of highly intelligent industry leaders, President Bigly strode into the Squircle Office to deal with a stack of executive orders dismantling more of President Hendrix's legacy. Having promised the Purrican minority who voted him in that he would wipe out the last 8 years in the first week President Bigly rubbed his paws together in anticipation.

Waiting in the Squircle Office were the usual sycophants gathered behind his chair. On the desk a stack of executive orders and a row of pens. One pen to one executive order; the pens would be dispensed as gifts to flunkies and dignitaries. The company providing the pens had been servicing the President's signing needs for at least the previous seven administrations, although in this instance they had to question whether they wanted to be associated with the incoming administration, and the change to have tacky gold colour plating on the normally sleek sophisticated pens was almost a deal breaker.

The dilemma was solved when it was pointed out that the pens are manufactured in Jhina and only assembled in the USP, so the company could feel that they were making a subtle snub to the less than stylish, or literate, 45th President of the United States of Purrica.

In direct opposition to the previous administration's environmental policies the first executive orders of the day were to approve the Furstone XL and Dakitta Access pipelines. With President Bigly's eyes on Beaverland's oil reserves he felt that the Furstone XL pipeline was an essential delivery route for when he invaded Beaverland—taking control of the oil he wanted for Purrica's reinvigorated fossil fuel hungry industries.

There was also no thought to the disputed route of the Dakitta Access pipeline which would carve its way through the water supply and sacred sites of a Native Purrican tribe. With the backing of the USP Army Corps of Engineers the project had been denied approval under the previous president, however, President Bigly ordered the USP Army Corps of Engineers to give their approval and stand down.

During a short break for a saucer of cream President Bigly called the Furderal Bureau of Investigation director, who had released false information on Bigly's opponents email just days before the election, to thank him. "As reward you will keep your job at the FBI despite calls for your resignation from outside the Power House. I will call on you again when I need FBI backing for my next misinformation strategy."

Bigly then took a call from the Currian president and ordered a mild beef curry with papadums and extra white rice, before noticing that a white-faced Pious was trying to get his attention with a hastily scrawled sign that said 'President of country of Curria, not local Currian takeaway'.

Not finished with environmental issues Bigly also put a gag order on the Environmental Protection Agency, and Department of Agriculture staff, banning them from talking to the press or posting on social media. These followed up the harsh responses already dealt out to the Departments of Transpawtation, Health & Feline Services, and also several national park services who had posted climate change statements in retaliation for the deletion of any climate change references from the official Power House website.

"How did I do today?" Bigly anxiously asked Pickle, "Did everyone like my patriotic devotion announcement yesterday? Did we hear from Dim von-Duck yet? He is my hero, will he call?"

Pickle hastily took a swig from his flask of special 'milk', "You did well, everything is going according to plan. Supreme Leader Dim has promised to tutor you personally in how to create a dynasty and get rid of all that democratic crap. Now I'm off for a night-cap or three."