Bigly: "Maximum chaos is within my power"

Most cats don't wake up each morning wondering how they can cause maximum chaos, hatred, and divisiveness, but President Bigly was one of the few exceptions. At night he would go to sleep plotting how he could stamp his authority on the citizens of Purrica and the rest of the world. He would dream of every cat bowing down to him as Supreme Commander of the World... no, bigger... of the Universe.

With Pickle at his right paw constantly whispering in his ear, Bigly felt that it was his right to run the United States of Purrica how he wanted—it was simply an offshoot of his Bigly business empire and a cash cow to be milked as hard as possible for the next four years.

Another trait that President Bigly had was refusing to let something go, he would hold a grudge forever, and his very thin fur made it easy for him to go off on a tirade at anything he felt was a slight to his power and cathood. Announcing by flutter that he would be instigating a big investigation into the alleged—or in his mind not alleged but proven—voter fraud, he even claimed that dead cats had voted for his opponent.

Political commentator Salem Colpurr:

"One has to ask the question, if millions of illegal votes were cast at the election then how many of those illegal votes were for Bigly himself? Did the gun-toting mouth-foaming bible-thumping rednecks behave honestly or did they take every opportunity to enhance Bigly's votes?

"As I understand it Pickle, the other Bigly daughter, and at least one or more Bigly administration nominees were actually guilty of potential voter fraud by being registered in more than one state, or other voting irregularities. Anyone thinking of glass houses here?"

Doogie of course was constantly on his back paws trying to confuse the media at press anti-briefings with misspeak, double and treble negatives, and if all else fails, volume. Yesterday, citing a Paw Research Study that found 14 percent of voters were illegal was obviously another of Doogie's alternative facts as no such study has been found.

Senior Repurricans and Democats alike have started to publicly denounce President Bigly's voter obsession and want him to move on, but as it's an ego thing Bigly remains staunchly unable to believe that he did not win the popular vote.

The main business of the day, however, was to get that threatened wall between the USofP and its southern neighbours underway, and also to crack down on sanctuary cities where illegal immigrants are currently protected and respected. President Bigly has a busy day of hate-mongering ahead.