Big day in tiny pawed cat land

President Bigly preened in front of the bathroom mirror lacquering his fur comb-over, and humming to himself in anticipation of how important he was going to look today when he gave his first speech to Congress. Selecting a blue and white striped collar he felt that it would give the right impression of intelligence, and make him look even more presidential.

Meanwhile, with the Weasel Brothers in Beaverland opening a new Bigly Tower—at Purrican taxpayers expense because as First Family they have to be protected even on Bigly corporation business—there was pressure in the Secret Service because the pool of short straw drawers was vastly reduced. The previous day agents had enviously watched their lucky colleagues draw the Beaverland duty—meaning those who were left would therefore have a greater chance of being "it" for today.

First order of the president's day—after a steak breakfast—was to attend the daily unintelligence briefing in the Squircle Office. More often than not giving these a miss was the norm, but occasionally President Bigly would give up a few minutes of his valuable fluttering time if he was travelling anywhere and felt it was in his best interests to listen to any potential threats to his personal security.

At lunchtime the president had a confrontational lunch with members of the press and a few select network anchors. While not much eating was done, a great deal of choking on crap was taking place.

After that President Bigly settled down to start signing acts and executive orders to wipe out a bit more of the Hendrix legacy. He started by signing a bill aimed at increasing female cat's careers in aerospace. Then he followed this up with another bill to promote female cats in entrepreneurship—as long as they dressed like female cats.

Having got the more mundane stuff out of the way the first executive order signed was to destroy Hendrix's Waters of the United States of Purrica rule. Then he moved on to sign an executive order to promote Historically Black Colleges and Universities.

The rest of the afternoon was spent doodling on some spare executive orders left lying on his desk, and looking in a mirror pursing his tiny mouth to try to look presidential.

Just before leaving the Power House for his Congress speech President Bigly saw the news reports of the protests outside Bigly Tower, where the Weasel Brothers were performing the opening ceremony. "Just who do these protestors think they are?" he fumed. "They are nothing, nobody, stupid Beaverland cats who should be grateful I am letting them be the 51st Purrican state. Fake news."